Friendships are hard (just as hard as relationships in some cases). For myself, it’s hard to balance my needs/wants with pleasing/making my friends happy. I struggle with saying no and setting boundaries because I don’t want to lose friends. As you can imagine, this sometimes leads to not so great friendships that are more detrimental than fulfilling.
I had a situation recently where someone I’ve been friends with (not long, maybe about a year) starting saying things that were outright offensive. This person held a lot of prejudice towards certain groups of people (some of which I’m apart of – yes, they were aware of that). I’m not a confrontational person so I tried to ignore it or justify it by saying they were a nice person, however I came to a point recently where they said something so offensive that I could no longer justify my being close with them. I could be friendly and maintain a casual friendship, but being close in my mind seemed uncomfortable.
I had conflicting feelings because I didn’t want to upset them. After thinking about it further, I came to the realization that I’m allowed to feel uncomfortable and act upon those feelings in an appropriate manner, whether it be through distancing myself a bit or having a conversation with the person. I don’t have to be close with a person that makes me uncomfortable even if it hurts their feelings. It doesn’t make me a bad person.
This situation, albeit difficult, I think helped me understand more how important it is that I take my feeling in a friendship seriously. It takes a lot for me to not just go along with things because I don’t want to hurt other people and frankly I’m happy I stopped doing that in this situation. Have any of you ever dealt with a situation similar to this?
(P.S. I know I’ve been MIA for a bit, I’m sorry! My job has been insane lately but hopefully there’s a light at the end of the tunnel (i.e. new coworkers and more help!). I’ve been posting a lot on my instagram (stephtriesmakeup) so definitely go check it out! <3️)